and she was there

and she was there

a smile, laughter
hope gained, hope lost.

and she was there

forgetting, forgetting
trying to forget.


trying to forget,
always remembering

pleading.

asking for more–
time

searching for more–
hope

gaining confidence from moments of comfort
losing confidence from the demons within

constant, relentless, present.
present. present. present.

and she was there

wearing a mask,
so the world couldn’t see.

smiling wide,
but her pain i could see.

and she was there

and i was there, and i was close,
and i was far.

fields, valleys,
oceans.

an unacknowledged truth.

filling spaces between the we
we knew so well.

veils of fear, cloaks of delusion:

numbing.

shattering opportunity for understanding

for connection,
for you, for me.

for comfort
from you, from me.

from me.

and she was there

breathing, gasping,
holding on.

and was she there?

goodbye, hello
a turn, a toss.

cries, pleas
a moan, a scream.

wheeze, blue
so cold, so dry,

goodbye, hello?
goodbye.
goodbye.

and she was there.

and she was not.

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