it sounded old




—now: it seemed to him that  he-was-always-saying-or-thinking   that  he-didn’t-deserve-some-bad-luck-or-some-bad-treatment   from others.

(he’d told Guitar that he didn’t-deserve-his-family’s



or …



he didn’t-even-deserve

to hear:

all the-misery,
and mutual-accusations
his parents unloaded on him.

nor did-he-deserve—

Hagar’s vengeance.


why shouldn’t his parents tell him their personal problems?

if not him,
—then who?

(and if a stranger could try to kill him, surely Hagarwho knew him-and-whom he’d thrown away like a wad of chewing gum after the flavor was gone––she had a right to try to kill him too.)

apparentlyhe though he


to be loved(!)

—from a distance, (though)
—and given what he wanted.

and in return
(he would be… what?)

maybe all he was really saying was:

“i am not responsible for your pain; share your happiness with me but not your unhappiness.”


:: toni morrison

song of solomon

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s