it sounded old—
—now: it seemed to him that he-was-always-saying-or-thinking that he-didn’t-deserve-some-bad-luck-or-some-bad-treatment from others.
(he’d told Guitar that he didn’t-deserve-his-family’s
his parents unloaded on him.
why shouldn’t his parents tell him their personal problems?
if not him,
(and if a stranger could try to kill him, surely Hagar, who knew him-and-whom he’d thrown away like a wad of chewing gum after the flavor was gone––she had a right to try to kill him too.)
apparently, he though he
to be loved(!)
—from a distance, (though)
—and given what he wanted.
and in return
(he would be… what?)
maybe all he was really saying was:
“i am not responsible for your pain; share your happiness with me but not your unhappiness.”
:: toni morrison
song of solomon