you will eat

you will eat,
you will laugh at stupid things,
you will stay up all night just to see what it feels like,
you will fall painfully in love,
you will have babies of your own,
you will doubt and regret and yearn and keep a secret.
you will get old and decrepit,
and you will die,
exhausted from all that living.

that is when you get to die.

not now.

 

i wanted to skim over that night,
calcifying my shame into something blurry

and manageable,

like a rumor about a stranger.

and they pass by themselves

people travel to wonder

at the height of mountains,

at the huge waves of the sea,

at the long courses of rivers,

at the vast compass of the ocean,

at the circular motion of the stars;

and they pass by themselves without wondering.

:: st. augustine of hippo

slow pressing

[[song lyrics to no song]]

slow, slow pressing on the mouth
kiss me on the legs
pour into me
hold me, don’t let go
light me up
i’m yours
shake your troubles out
tear your worries out
pour into me

slow, slow pressing on the mouth
kiss me on my palms
hold you in my palms
pour into me

i’m poured into you
shaken and stirred
for you

where do i begin
how did this begin
ain’t there nothing more
where did we go wrong
how did we go wrong
poured for far too long
empty vases of ourselves
ghosts of someone else
memories left on shelves

now you

shake yourself out
moonlight by your side
so you pour yourself to sleep
are you gone
are you done
with me

sun glistens on the bed
whiskey on your breath slow pressing